It's Good to be Back

Conscious once again.
It's good to be back.
   Returned to this Earth.
With its friend Luna and Sol and all its other OK neighbours

Suspend the urge to pass on
For the saddest fact I know,
is that I spend about a third of my one chance of life sleeping

I'll get plenty of that when I'm gone.

Inner Self

Sometimes the lines get blurry
at other periods in time they get lonesome.
Like the road she walked home on,

<never bring forth the inner self
>question the others' instead

Order of the Day

A word for the day; 

A word for the beat,

A word for the lights,

a word instead of melancholy

...hopefully.

The Hat

Put on the busy-guy hat
while the bleeps and bloops zoom by
Walk in the rhythm that was agreed upon
stretch out your back or hit the pavement
I can taste the metal in the air
and if you somehow bump into someone it is always their fault

That's what the news told me today.

A Stroll Through the Cold, Cold Night

Waiting in the cold, cold night
As the children's laughter has long gone
Though some small echos linger
and I have to move on.

The Mouse

Bleeps and bloops
loud fingers on a the keyboard
or maybe it's just the keys
While the mouse is as quiet as ever
just like the real ones.
You only ever hear a click or two.
The keyboard can't stop.
Though I've dreamt of stopping.

The Lily

Placed in a public space
With all the ambience of green sound
As well as plastic
And loud walks and talks.
Amidst sterile walls
Between the towering columns
Right besides the front desk
Down by the floor

there lies The Lily.

Exhale

Exhale,

like a filthy exhaust pipe 

that runs on the already fallen.

 (No, lazy I am not. I just can't describe in words how much the above words mean to me, or add to them for that matter)

Words to Utter

I don't know which words to utter
it all ends up in nothing but a stutter
That figure in dark at last turned into grey
and is now finally laying in the hay.

A permanent solution to a temporary problem I will always object
something about it just doesn't sound correct
The needless amount of force and therefore a crime
the irony however is, that that how I rhyme.

It's Not What You Had, It Is What you Are Left With

I am reminded of that long-ago time when I
- this unemployed 
ever so slightly leaning towards the intoxicated side
rather than the sober and generally more behaving side -
Started to go out this girl

In a horrendously foolish adept to seem mysterious
and therefore maybe, hopefully and perhaps aspiring towards being interesting (...)
, I only ended up with a girl that didn't know her partner in crime.
A mistake indeed.

Might I add:

The warm, soft cheeks
moist, red lips
reaching out for contact
whilst the shoulders make a run for it
just in order the send chest and stomach forward
A deep breath
followed by the most arousing sigh I have ever heard.

It's not what you had, it is what you are left with.

The Everlasting Pump

An animal that never leaves your side
A cold chill always at the other
The dark dance around the fire
as if on a mystified chemical
that word-of-mouth said was healthy
but now illegal and dangerous
according to them

Just one little while free of the everlasting pump
That just keeps pumping you through city block
after city block
through sky-piercing building
after sky-scraping building
Even though you thought you were in a traffic-jam.

I didn't know that day-dreams would be this useful outside of school.

A Constant Snoring

A constant snoring
Bitter, bleak and irritating
Searching for a moment of silence
from all the pesky noises
all of the duties around the corner
even the cycle of food and sleep

We're told we just have to work hard
and someday we (might) will get to lay in the hay
But old-man-millionaire once asked a local fisherman
why he was just lying on the beach
why he wasn't fishing to then later relax.

After the Rest

Unfortunately it is phisically impossible to live in the present
light, sound and perception happen at certain speeds
but do not let that stop you
it does not stop me
at least right now

lI will have forgotten in a little while
after the dinner
after the rest
when I'm relaxed
confident that
this might go on

Church Bells Through the Hard Rain

Church bells through the hard rain
remind me of all the hours I failed to notice
three or perhaps even four days of nothing
absolutely nothing:
Vacant social life, denying access even
A stale and unalterable negative income eating its way
like a termite.

No productivity with no light at the end of the cliché'd tunnel
Waiting just as always
A body and mind in decay, disrepair, dilapidation
Nearing the enivitable fall
And the ruin that awaits.

Half-Closed Eyes

Half-closed eyes
with more than one wrinkle under each
the skin is turning paler by the minute
a minute difference though, only noticeable when looking at old photographs
The many hours spent lucid in the dark side of the earth have taken their toll
But I know of pills that take care of that.

As I Lie In Bed

As I lie in bed
noisy fans
motor-cars
powered by oil
head-phones to block it out
an artificial taste
as well as smell
need to pop more pills,
aches and cramps everywhere
not to mention the mess inside both heads
Avoid confrontation at all costs.

All of That Is Completely Irrelevant

Large doses of sugary sweets
I might be addicted to ammonium hydroxide
and all those hours in front of a screen
be it the televised vision
or the computing box with a noisy fan
Routine is all I ever knew.
just like so many places on this rock
that do not get to experience the difference
between left and right

But all of that is completely and utterly irrelevant
for She is on my mind
Constantly.

No Future Plans

No future plans
in these plains
for a moving train
is all that is needed

No long numbers
in this empty mind and disc-space
for a drink and a chat
can always be arranged

No bed to "go at it" in
in a troubled and fashioned city
until The Lion appears
and roars at me

Saying "I've got a place for you."
"But you will need to vanish again into the morrow."

One-Thousand Milliseconds at a Time

Tick tock tick tock
time is running away from you
one-thousand milliseconds at a time
hurry for the door
don't stop and think
be here then and there now
stomach aches from stress
make me want to fall a sleep
and not wake up
until I am in Bagdad again.

I Should Be Happy Just Look I'm Even Smiling

Although today is not the correct day
I still feel as if it was the seventh day (for us)
Worried the interesting, but very dangerous, chemical compounds
might just have won the battle today
To be a little more direct
if I may...

The ever so nice death-sticks
have (hopefully) momentarily
destroyed my throat

The always charming
but a bit frivolous: alcohol
has now taken it's toll on my digestive system

and of course lastly, but certainly the very least
for I don't necessarily enjoy everything
The Drugs
 ...
If I took any
then it was done in an unconscious manner
but I can feel my chest expanding,
my ears' ability to hear lessening
and the few bits of brain-power that remain
are slowly evaporating.

Although, I might be wrong
About something.
About everything.
I might live to see the morrow
and I might even want to

But for the time being
I'm sweating immensely in a excrement-fillet toilet-stall
unwashable and not belonging in the first world.

I should be happy
just look
I'm even smiling.

Three bottles of scotch

Three bottles of scotch
don't blend it
don't even think about it
Take the good with the bad
(as they say)

Never once did I think well
when on the other things
Write drunk
edit sober
(as he said)

Pressure on an empty stomach
dry mouth
aching head
and we go on and on and on and on and on.
Until the Sun shines
and the Moon is forced to hide.

Brainstorms and Synonyms

Far be it from me to criticize you
far be it from me to even have an actual opinion
reasoned and argued
established.

Nearing the validity of our claims
ever now and then,
just by a little...
one stride at the time.

Brainstorms and synonyms
let us crash-test my entire repository of convictions, doctrines and conclusions
Guesses and hints.
Chasing after a rabbit of naked truth, nitty-gritty perfection.

But for now:
I will lay in bed and think about what I should do
where I want to go
how much I need to get up again...

A World Made of Formulas and Numbers

Crowds gather
signs go up in the air
all of them with catchy phrases

In the concrete jungle
where the streets only go north, south, east or west
amidst the boring cafés

A world made of formulas and numbers 
dulling three of the five classic senses
an entire day spent in front of a rectangle

Until the crowds gather again.

A Constant Hum from the Various Computer Devices

A room in ruins
military ships sailing about
the cracking of baking rooves
THE DRY, DRY SAND

A constant hum from the various computer devices,
or tinnitus...
my feet are cold.

Until I Rot Away Like All the Others

Mouth dripping with chocolate, bread and yogurt
While the sun shines one last day
Dust and tiny particles
are more prominent than ever
A sharp pain in the neck
the taste of rot
I decay like everything else;;;
therefore I try to live while I still can.
Until I rot away like all the others.

Waiting for Time to Pass On and Be Gone

Waiting in a desolate place
while the rain pours down.
The roof is leaking.
But the little drops are being catched by a pot.

And even though the weather is gray, wet and dead
even though I'm just waiting for time to pass on and be gone
even though everything is in standstill,
the curtains are broken, ruined, useless
have been so for years...
Waiting for time to pass on and be gone.

The Hope of a World of Peace

Endless streams of information
most of which is meaningless
Like our place in time and space
be it here or there
the rain always helps us sleep

The Hope of a World of Peace
and all the other clichés that follow
for once remembered blood streams
rivers of life
being optimistic for a change.

Sometimes a Stranger's Gesture is as Welcoming as the Liquid that Enters our Bodies

Wake me up
from this nigthmare of a place
Let's just go to sleep
never wake up.

No.
You will wake up
you will have to live
wake up.
Get up.
Get out.
Have a cigarette and be a social creature.

Sometimes a stranger's gesture is as welcoming as the liquid that enters our bodies.
I believe in that.

It's So Hard to Love Someone Who Doesn't Love You

It's so hard to love
someone who doesn't love you
There is nothing I would want more (right now)
than to have her here
I've stolen from Son
But the rain is too heavy
and it's light outside
again
after party after the final party
fuck
I'm hurting
In stomach
In head
IN HEART.

Morning Hair

The rain is pouring down
got home before though
Chips are on sale
and water is free.
Eat your vitamins billy
We might just pull through
keep going on
I'm hopeful of there hopefully being hope.
Please...

The Breakfast of Champions

I want it
I will get it
I will accept no subsitute.

A nice birthday party:
in a basement.
It was there
and I was as loud as baby about it
Hospitality isn't unusual at birthdays: A nice tradition.

...So You Should Too

Chocolate
ice cream
and other various sweets
A soar neck
Square eyes
and other stressful disadvantages
Never go out while the churchbells are ringing
That's when the kids are inside.
So you should too.

I Did Everything but knock on the Front Door

'Sent out mail
'sent out e-mail
sent out personal messages
sent out phone calls
cell phone calls too
tried faxing
tried Morse code too
I did everything but knock on the front door
because that is not nice
people don't want other people to just barge in
it's also embarrassing
so I just wait.

Let the alcohol clean my body.

Filthy aches
In a cold room
Water dripping
Can't stop can't stop
Get out get out
Toilet paper is more real than your nice plants
Let the alcohol clean my body.

Today You May Also Have the Rest of My Wine

Wind/Stand Still

The wind is trying to trip over my house
Wake up in church bells and sunlight
Cat hair thrown about
Just like a bush
Me, me, me, me
All were let down.
Let down there.
Just like before.
Individuality over unity.
I want my black dressed figurine.

Food

Beef
Potatoes
Sauce
Wine
a nice salad too
Early Sunday dinners 
Almost brunch

Need salt
Need water
Need nasty food
Need to get rid of headache
-Stop

Hello Cat

Hello kitty cat.
Nice to see you this morning.
COME LAY WITH ME.
Feel you.
Bottomless echos.
Yesternight did not go well.
Should stand up for oneself.
Defend.
Limited time to make decisions.
Too much afterthought.
At least the hangover is in treatment.
I will move.

...

I lost my thought
Can't hear
Lost my chain of thought
Can't hear myself think
cantthinkcantthinkcantthink
Why am I here?
Should I go?
...

Be More Healthy

Get up early
Drink less
Alcohol that is
Never think bad thoughts
That's the root of the problem...
Pump in vitamins
Pump your muscles to their truer form
That's the only right way
Don't be left
Only stupid people would want to do that
That's the root of the problem
big words prove my intelegens
isms really enforce it

Killing time

Time flies when you're having fun
Wonder why it flies
when I'm bored
In front of the internet.
Like now,
Like always,
Each and everyday.

Tinitus.

With tinitus steadily rising
Uncontrolled noise
Can't think in a cloud
Can't hear myself talk.

It's grey and quiet today

Dead Air, fog,
grey and quiet,
holding me tight,
into the sea.

Fog.

Look outside.
Can you see it?
No?
Maybe Voé is in the way.

All the sunlight

All the sunlight from outside.
I'm busy, can't you wait?
I need to do this and that.
Not a lot of noise.
Maybe everyone else is inside too.
They need to do this and that too.
I'm ready.
Sun has gone down for today.

Late brunch.

Wake up.
Sleep more.
Wake up again.
I feel ill.
Regret.
Head hurts.
Tinnitus appearing.
Getting louder every year.
Sleep more.